Victoria's Secret vs. Online Dating

Let me preface this post by saying that online dating is not for the faint of heart. And as I stated before, trying to convey to a man how gorgeous, witty, and charming you are in 1500 characters or less is no easy task. 

While we all hope to meet our future beau the old-fashioned, organic way, for some people (like myself) that becomes increasingly difficult when you factor in things like small towns (where everyone knows everyone -- lived there), jam packed schedules (we work, we church, we volunteer, at some point we must sleep) and jobs that require extensive travel (shout out to my girl at the Terminal D Starbucks in the Atlanta Airport for always getting my latte just perfect)! 

So where do you even start? Match, eharmony, plenty of fish.... you've got Christian singles sites, sites that are known for attracting those wishing to settle down right away, and others who have reputations for people just looking to hook up. The options are as endless and varied as the collection of bras in a Victoria's Secret catalog!

After much debate with the girls over which to sign up for, I finally took the plunge into the online world of dating.  I spent some time carefully crafting the "perfect profile" and strategically choosing my best photos (keep in mind the boys do this too --but I will get to what I learned about this later). Within a few days, my inbox was full of male suitors who were ready to "get to know me". Unfortunately, as with everything else in life, the good always comes with some bad (or in my case a whole lot of it). 

One of my favorite introductory emails went something like this..."You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I could get lost in them and feel like I can see into your soul (when I look at your pictures)"...are you freaking kidding me?!?! Honestly, I'm not even sure what any girl does with a message like this other than immediately judge the sender and label them as a creeper.

I dug through the emails and filed away some of the really good ones to share with the girls at the office (I mean if you can't laugh over a situation like this with your girlfriends then why even have them) and picked out a few to respond to accordingly. That's when I stumbled upon the "Event Promoter". He was my first attempt at online dating. You already know how it ends, but the in between is always the best (or at least the most entertaining) part.

Tune in next time...you won't want to miss one of my first dating mis-adventures!

stay foxy,

singleintheswamp

Now if only this were true...

Where is Prince Charming?

A big ole howdy from Nashville, TN! Forgive my delay in posting, but my boots were aching to get out of my closet and back to my ole stomping grounds...if only for a few nights! 

So where were we? Ah, yes....being single in your twenties definitely leads you to question what's the best approach to meeting people your own age. Your options become: 

(A) the bar scene -- while your potential suitors are getting "crunk with their bros" and you're navigating the waters of who  is post grad versus who is still living it up in the dorm...easier said than done. 

(B) the office -- could be okay if you work for a big company, otherwise this could get VERY awkward. Always best to steer clear of this one in my opinion. 

(C) church -- this always seems to be a mixed bag of super-religious zealots who are ready to put a ring on it after one date, and those really awesome guys who are already spoken for....siiiigh (besides you probably shouldn't be checking dudes out while you're getting your Jesus on, but we know we're all guilty of it) 

(D) online dating  websites -- this is definitely acceptable, but if anyone has figured out a way to write a profile that is the right amount of fun, attractive, and intriguing in 1500 characters or less, we need to talk! 

(E) the gym (or other co-ed activities) -- as long as you don't mind seeing the same people around if things don't work out. Either that or you're going to have to get creative with your workout routine if things go south.

While I've tried them all,  I must say that my funniest stories have definitely come from option D. So for the next few posts I'm going to give you my inside perspective on the mystical, magical, world of online dating. The Lawyer, The Firefighter, The Medical Device Rep...their occupations are endless and their dating skills atrocious. 

With so many frogs around, I'm now completely convinced that my Prince Charming has taken a wrong turn, gotten lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. 

Until next time...

Cupid Sucks, 

singleintheswamp

  

The Marketing Manager

Alright, so in the midst of the email onslaught that began when I decided to start this whole online dating business, I actually met a guy (yes, a real living and breathing human being that I could actually see in person) who worked for a similar company in town and was also in the marketing field.

"The Marketer" seemed like a fairly nice guy. You know -- good job, nice personality, not trying to freak me out with medical illnesses in the first week. In my book, this one was already a winner.

After weeks and weeks of flirting (why in the hell it takes guys so long to ask a girl out I will never understand), he finally asked if he could take me out that Saturday night. After careful consideration (about thirty seconds of thinking I had no food in the house and a new blouse I'd been dying to wear out), I agreed to go. This is the part where he did his manly bit and asked if I would like to go to dinner or a movie. 

Now ladies, I need to make sure we are on the same page here and that you noticed that he said dinner OR a movie....not dinner AND a movie. After some discussion, I suggested that since it was the weekend we'd have time for a casual dinner AND a movie if he was up for that...

To which he replied, "Let's just do a movie. I'm actually saving up for a BMW right now and don't need to really spend any money."

Whaaaaaaaaaat??? Hold the phone a second here. This is the part where i have to tell you this boy was already driving a brand new Jetta! I cut the guy some slack and went on one date with him (longest movie ever), but let me tell you what I learned from this one. If a man cannot get his self together and put a little effort into a nice first date, keep on looking. Chances are he will always put you second to whatever it is that is occupying his attention (in this case, very nice cars). Poor thing, The Marketer got his BMW, but he is still single to this day. 

The good news is, I managed to score a really cute pair of brown leather boots out of this one. Don't you just love shopping for first date outfits?!? So many first dates...which may explain why my guest room has turned into my second shoe closet.
On to the next one...but hey, at least my feet look good :)

Cupid Sucks,
shesthatgirl

Hide-and-Go-Seek (on a universal scale)

Alright ladies (and gents - whom, let's be honest, i probably made out with before you actually came out, but we'll save that for another entry)...

If any of you know and have experienced the painstaking process (waxing, shelacing, dieting, blah blah blah)  that is dating in your twenties, you will totally get where I'm coming from and where I'm going with this whole blog thing.

So, a little about me...
I work in marketing for a corporate office in Gainesville, Florida. My industry is male dominated, but I'm proud to say, my pumps have found their place here among the big boys.

Just like you, my closet is full of stilettos, skinnies, and other pretty, southern girl swag. And, while my closet and social calendar are maxed out, I'm still waiting on that line of gentleman callers that everyone keeps telling me they bet I "beat away with a stick." Can I just say here that I would like to know how that phrase even makes any sense?? I've found it necessary to beat some of these frogs away with a stick, but for much, much different reasons!!

Anyway, my dating life has been unbelievably comical up to this point in my life. To borrow a line from an old Deana Carter song, "Did I shave my legs for this?!?"

You'd think living in a college town would make this whole process easier. Theoretically, there should be a plethora of suitable, young men here. Med students, law students, young entrepreneurs...but seriously - is the universe playing a secret game of hide-and-go-seek that no one let me in on?

Blind dates, Match dates, uncomfortable moments with family friends...drinks, coffee, dinner dancing (well - in some cases I definitely wouldn't call it dancing)...I've been there and experienced it all.

Want to know what a date in my pumps looks like? Stay tuned...

Cupid Sucks,
singleintheswamp

Cupid Sucks

Hello sweet blogging world! 

Allow me to introduce myself...I am a sassy, successful, single twenty-something young woman living in Gainesville, Florida. I have called this bustling college town home for a few years now, but the 'where I'm at' is lesss important than the 'why I'm here'

...at least for now.

So, why am I here (in the blogging world, that is)?

After much discussion, laughter, critical analysis, and overall bitching to my girlfriends, I decided it was finally time to chronicle the laughable situation that some would call my "love" life.

While I can't promise any happy endings, I can promise a pretty entertaining story or two. Well, let's just be honest, I could fill up a book at this point!  And at the end of the day, we can all thank the latest "frog" for finally inspiring me to write all of these hilarious things down. 

To my girlfriends (and anyone else interested enough to read this nonsense), hold on to your hats because I couldn't make this crap up if I tried! 

Until next time...

Cupid Sucks,

singleintheswamp